iOS Script Debugging not working

I have Visual Studio 2019 for Mac. I have an iPhone Max XS with the latest iOS. I am using Unity 2018.3.11f.

I created a brand new project and just have a single script with very little in it.

I am trying to debug on iOS. I checked Development Build, Script debugging and wait for manage debugger. I also selected run xcode as Debug, but also tried as Release and both did the same thing.

I tried the Build and Run button. After opening xcode and building the console output says the buld was complete, but then after several seconds it gives the following:

Socket: connect failed, error: Operation now in progress(36) connect failed Failed to connect to player ip: 10.48.21.111, port: 55000

That is the IP address of my iPhone on the wifi.

I also tried running the app from xcode in debug. It runs and shows a dialog saying that I can connect the managed debugger.

I have Visual Studio open so I select Run / Attach to process. The iPhone process shows up with an ip address of 192.0.0.1, 56000. Not sure where that is coming from, but if I don't have the app running on the iPhone it doesn't show up at all, so I suspect it is the right thing.

If I select to attach to it the dialog goes away, but after several seconds I get a dialog in VS saying:

Debugger operation failed.

Operation is not valid due to the current state of the object.

I have tried all kinds of gymnastics in trying to start things at certain times and waiting here and there and connecting faster or slower and nothing changes.

I have also tried all of this with both the iPhone connected via USB and wifi. I have turned off and turned on wifi debugging in xcode for this device.

I have tried just running the app on the iPhone and not by using xcode and it does show up in the VS attach to process dialog, but still fails with the above message.

If I do run it in the debugger over USB I get the following output:

 PlayerConnection initialized from /var/containers/Bundle/Application/359CFD90-51F6-4BBA-B2B6-347C1A1F4B5F/evaluation2d.app/Data (debug = 0)
 PlayerConnection initialized network socket : 0.0.0.0 55000
 Multi-casting "[IP] 192.0.0.1 [Port] 55000 [Flags] 3 [Guid] 1916711904 [EditorId] 1338261848 [Version] 1048832 [Id] iPhonePlayer(Tonys-iPhone):56000 [Debug] 1 [PackageName] iPhonePlayer" to [225.0.0.222:54997]...
 Waiting for connection from host on [0.0.0.0:55000]...
 PlayerConnection accepted from [10.48.21.31] handle:0x6
 Started listening to [0.0.0.0:55000]
 PlayerConnection already initialized - listening to [0.0.0.0:55000]
 2019-04-18 09:43:19.140200-0600 evaluation2d[1824:557382] Metal GPU Frame Capture Enabled
 2019-04-18 09:43:19.140779-0600 evaluation2d[1824:557382] Metal API Validation Disabled
 2019-04-18 09:43:19.364326-0600 evaluation2d[1824:557382] [Warning] Trying to set delaysTouchesBegan to NO on a system gate gesture recognizer - this is unsupported and will have undesired side effects
 -> applicationDidBecomeActive()
 GfxDevice: creating device client; threaded=1
 Initializing Metal device caps: Apple A12 GPU
 Initialize engine version: 2018.3.11f1 (5063218e4ab8)

If I disconnect USB and just debug in xcode over wifi I get the following output:

 PlayerConnection initialized from /var/containers/Bundle/Application/B1C0D8B3-4EA6-4F91-AB0D-D228CFD277C7/evaluation2d.app/Data (debug = 0)
 PlayerConnection initialized network socket : 0.0.0.0 55000
 Multi-casting "[IP] 192.0.0.1 [Port] 55000 [Flags] 3 [Guid] 3570588543 [EditorId] 1338261848 [Version] 1048832 [Id] iPhonePlayer(Tonys-iPhone):56000 [Debug] 1 [PackageName] iPhonePlayer" to [225.0.0.222:54997]...
 Waiting for connection from host on [0.0.0.0:55000]...
 PlayerConnection accepted from [10.48.21.31] handle:0x6
 Started listening to [0.0.0.0:55000]
 PlayerConnection already initialized - listening to [0.0.0.0:55000]
 2019-04-18 09:48:54.066179-0600 evaluation2d[1838:559292] Metal GPU Frame Capture Enabled
 2019-04-18 09:48:54.066749-0600 evaluation2d[1838:559292] Metal API Validation Disabled
 2019-04-18 09:48:55.006351-0600 evaluation2d[1838:559292] [Warning] Trying to set delaysTouchesBegan to NO on a system gate gesture recognizer - this is unsupported and will have undesired side effects
 -> applicationDidBecomeActive()
 GfxDevice: creating device client; threaded=1
 Initializing Metal device caps: Apple A12 GPU
 Initialize engine version: 2018.3.11f1 (5063218e4ab8)
 

You can see how in that one it waits for a connection and gets it from xcode because I haven't done the attach yet from VS. Also notice how the port is 55000 and not 56000 like VS is using.

All I want to do is be able to do managed script debugging on iOS. Can someone tell me how to get this to work?