Two-dimensional array of game objects to create a graph of nodes?

Okay, so my problem revolves around a graph of nodes and tile maps. I have a graph of nodes (a two dimensional array), and I have tiles as game objects with a sprite. In the graph of nodes I have either a value 0 or 1, 0 being an open node/tile and 1 being a solid one, the one to avoid during path finding. Additional to this, I have made a simple tile map to start with, each tile being a separate child object within an empty parent object.

Problem is, whenever I change the tile map in any way, I have to go to the path finding script and edit the array of 0's and 1's. Not ideal.

I'm trying to figure out a way to link (make a reference?) from a game object (tile) to a node, so that I could then run a loop in the start method to create an array of nodes that have a tile assigned to it, or vice versa, I'm not sure which way works. Basically, I want to write a code that creates an array of nodes when loading the scene, according to the tile map I currently have.

Any input on how I should approach this? I'm a mere beginner with unity and programming, and haven't been able to wrap my head around this. (On top of that this is the first time asking a question here, so let me know if I should have done something different here, like if the title is misleading/misinforming etc.)

Thanks in advance!