How should collisions be set up to achieve minimal disturbance?

Hi Guys!

I have a hand shaped object, with a mesh collider, I am trying to close the hand around a cylinder/sphere shaped object- When I pick the object up and the hand closes a bit too much the object will be shot in whatever direction, before this happens it starts shaking a lot and basically shows me to stop closing my hand. but when i would rotate or twist my hand the object slips out.

How can I pick up objects without using a attach script, basically just to hold the objects in place by holding on to it by closing my hand?

I know there's a lot of scripts out there to help m with attaching objects but i would like to have a realistic hand picking up a object.

Thanks in advance.